STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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