She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
