Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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