You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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