And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
