I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
