I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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