Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
