Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
