Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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