Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Semen is not good for contacts.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
