Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You left your phone here
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