Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
