New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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