If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
