Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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