Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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