p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
