So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
