just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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