yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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