I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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