But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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