i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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