Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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