Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize