UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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