Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
