OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
