I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
being pregnant is like rehab
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
