I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We had to coat check the pizza.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
