The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
