just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
operation have a gay friend backfired
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
