no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
