Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
