Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
