hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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