i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
