Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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