fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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