It's like God shit irony all over that family
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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