OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
