Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
