he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
