Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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