Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
