We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
