I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
