fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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