it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
why is half of my head shaved?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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