did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
