i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
