god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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