So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
