but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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