I want to make a zoo with you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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