i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
