just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
