are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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