we made out on top of his cat.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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