She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
