wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
