It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
