Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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