I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
