it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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