i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
