My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
